So a bunch has happened to me over the past month or two? (gosh I’m so sorry about that).
Pretty much after some events that happened at school with some girl, I’ve officially decided to cut her off as a friend. It was all over a boy really but what really surprised me was the true face she showed me. I couldn’t believe someone could try to undermine someone else just for a boy’s attention. The worse part is is that it affected the guy and I’s friendship because of it. I couldn’t deal with her being a horrible person and the negativity she brought me. I literally have to force myself to be nice to her when I see her now.
Which brings me to my next point that why do people do this? It’s so pathetic and childish. Especially in college. Like if you like a guy, go for it but don’t make me a scrap goat, openly be rude to me, and look at me like I’m the next threat. Literally just be yourself and if someone you fancy doesn’t like you for it, move on. The guy and I are just friends (getting close) and since I told you that I was gay in confidence, you now perceived as someone who would ruin your chances. It’s like your doing just fine ruining it yourself. So bye to that friend.
ALSO please stop being jealous. If you feel that way, you could have just asked me if I liked him and this goes for other people’s friends as well. If you like a girl/guy and you think your friend does to, just ask. This happened to the other guy who liked me who thought I liked another guy but we are really close friends. It’s an annoying habit people need to break, especially as you get older.
On a brighter note, [sorry for the doom and gloom rant], school is going well. I actually have a high B in chinese which i’m excited about and I started therapy and it’s helping.
I’m working on my arm strength (since I dislocated it too many times) and my leg strength since my legs are getting weaker and weaker. The therapist is nice but it’s a little short? Only an hour. I’m not sure if this is normal or not lol I wanna feel the burn!
Also I’ve started a mydramalist (which is basically listing all the dramas im watching/watched/going to watch/dropped) and it’s so good because I’m getting back into k-dramas and it’s amazing. no joke just go to hulu, find a drama that looks ok and watch, your gonna get so engrossed, your gonna be like woah the last time I checked outside, the sun existed!
I’m watching To the Beautiful You and I’m LOVING the story
and loving how many cute guys there are in the show like um excuse me? where can I get a k-drama boyfriend or a boyfriend period? My drama link is below so hopefully you guys can share some dramas with me or IU (chuckles because that’s a korean idol). and befriend me there too
Annyoung and Stay Gold!!! :)
Hey Everyone! Sorry there hasn’t been an update in a while. I kind of got busy/lazy/-insert creative excuse here- But there’s a whole bunch of stuff that has happened to me over the last couple months.
Late last year, I went to my doctor for the final 12 month check up for my back. Wow still can’t believe it’s been over a year. Anyway I got the thumbs up that my back is healing ok although I’m still leaning to the side a little. I did talk to my doctor about the then recent knee pain i’ve been experiencing. I’ve been taking pain relievers for sometime but I did not want to become dependent on them. I got an x-ray and he said that there are no signs of arthritis but that my muscles are pulling on my knee caps and that it’s rising higher. He said to also look into having a wheelchair soon. It shocked my mom more than me because I more or less expected that answer. But I was stubborn so I’ve been pushing my legs a lot (currently) by going to the gym at my school and for the first time in awhile ran/walked a half mile on the treadmill ^.^
Currently I think I might have done something to my back because it blew out the other day and I couldn’t walk 5 steps before it spazzed out. I was kind of worried but in a couple hours it stop spazzing out. My mom wanted me to start official therapy again so I’m going to start either next or the following week to see if that helps.
School-wise I talked with my adviser about my dilemma with biology and international relations. About how I really loved both and really couldn’t decide. She said I didn’t really need to decide as there was a way to combine them but I will not be following a normal path like every science/international studies major and that it will require more work and discipline on my end but the future job I (hopefully) will get will please both my desires. I was so excited and happy that she helped me through it. So I’m officially going to declare myself a biology major when this semester ends (easier transfer from community college to regular college) while completing all the requirements for the American medical schools. Yeah I considered traveling abroad for medical school like in Japan or Korea, but that required a lot of time as well as money and I really don’t have that luxury at this time. I will shoot for graduate school overseas though so I’m applying myself to my studies this semester with 105%
As of right now I’m taking Chinese 101, East Asian Civilization, and Principles of Biology 2. Can;t say anything about them yet because we haven’t done any serious work except for a bio exam (which is technically a test) and I think I did alright on it.
Another interesting thing that happened was that my friend noticed after a while that I seem more self-assure/confident in myself. It was a nice compliment to here since I’ve been struggling with it for awhile. Surprisingly someone (a guy) actually hit on me a couple months ago! I was so excited too but it didn’t end up falling through. I’ve been making more friends and finally found my niche! Whoo! Also reconnecting with old friends.
I think that summarizes everything that’s been happening lately. If you have any questions, concerns, and comments. Leave them in the ask! Don’t forget to share your own stories by sending them in the ask too. Other people may feel inspired my your own stories! :)
P.s. Tuesday is my birthday!!!! :) so excited!
Take Care and Stay Gold!!
Hola Guys sorry for the long gap in posts. College is fully and apologetically kicking my butt in more ways than one.
So I started classes a month ago and mid-terms almost over. Can’t say I’m fully in love with my classes or grades right now.
In Biology I have a B so in order to get an A, I have to do well on every test from now till the end of the term. Which means I have to put even more effort into biology than I’m already doing now. Study guides, take home quizzes, little assignments here and there, pre-labs, etc. Everyone who knows me in school knows that i’m forever working on biology so it’s a little dishearting putting so much effort into one class and all I can come up with is a B.
Precalculus…sigh. I got a C on the first test and on the last test we took, I really wasn’t sure how I did. I really wanted an A so I might want, er need to cut back on alot of leisure activities till I get my grade up to an A or at least a B. My teacher is really nice and his teaching methods are like AMAZING but I keep on making stupid mistakes. Which is so lame on my part because I actually get it.
English is going well even though the teacher is such a hardass with his classes. On the first paper our class wrote, he was grading us as if we were in December and the class was ending. I got a B+ while the rest of the class didn’t do so hot. He is very particular when it comes to grading certain papers. He needs to have it a certain way or he will give you an F on your paper to rewrite. Even as I’m typing this post write now. I’m redoing a paper of his in which my outline wasn’t done correctly. For the most part it’s a good way of teaching us to really pay attention to our papers and teachers because when we go off to big n’ bad university, we will be more cautious of our papers.
Health is easy peasy lemon squeezy. The teacher is very nice and chill. We have homework due every class (but it only meets once a week) and it’s not hard at all. We have a mid-term next week and she already put the study guide for it online so if we study that we will be good.
Making friends in college is actually going very well. I don’t know but college is so “different”. There’s no soical hierarchy like in high school and the people in college are so nice. People sometimes just come out of nowhere and start talking to me (or maybe thats a community college thing).
I could go on and on but I really need to do this paper! If ya’ll have any questions about college or anything, ask away!
To everyone that knows me (and my personal blog) knows that I’m gay and I couldn’t be happier. I have met so many great and positive people in my life who have been so supportive through these grueling years of self-discovery and acceptance.
For some though, their battle rages on and this day is for you. For those to find the courage in your heart to say firmly that they are LGBT and to find those positive people in your life.
I have so much respect for every one of you who do come out because I know that it’s hard process no matter how many times you do come out.
For those who are not LGBT, be there as a sister, a brother, a friend, or even a stranger. Lend your ear, but most importantly, your heart.
Remember only understanding each other can people ever find acceptance.
If any of you need to talk about being LGBT or other related matters, I’m always here to talk!
Take Care and xoxo
It’s that time again, where your phone buzzes alot because people want to hang out with you for the last time before they head back to school. Where your June vacation seemed to have just started yesterday, and where you begrudgingly look to see that red circle mark on your calender coming closer and closer to the start date of school. Yup you guessed it.
The end of summer.
Honestly I did really enjoy this summer even though on paper I really didn’t do much. I worked. Watched the Olympics. Watched Savages and Batman (which btw was amazing and you should go see it). Played Badminton with a couple people and stuff my face with delicious s’mores.
Work went better than expected. I really learned alot and not just in academics but in lab experience as well. At the end of internship, I had to do a lab presentation on what I did over the course of my stay with my lab. I was really nervous but afterwards everyone congratulated me that my presentation was really well done. Can anyone say big self-confidence boost?
This summer also taught be to better prepare for college! Like registering for classes asap will not only guarantee you a spot but a good teacher. Also whoever made college book prices are either insane or plain mean.
I’ve also taught myself to have good time management skills because that was a huge weakness I had in high school.
In college news : I finally registered for fall classes. so it’s english 101, biology, pre-calculus, and health. As for next semester, I’m not really sure but I know I’m taking calculus and want to up my classes intake to 15 credits instead of 12 in the fall. As for languages I want to take in college, that’s still debatable. Japanese isn’t offered at my school so I’m going to teach myself that. For Chinese, it’s offered but it’s 5 semester hours and that’s alot of time to give to one class on top of my already busy major(s). So I think I’m going to take Korean so I’ve been listening to korean music and watching korean dramas (my god it’s addicting). I’m loving it right now.
Majors are still…fishy. I know I wrote awhile back I wrote double majoring in biology/ international relations. I looked into international relations (after graduating) and most places only look for masters+ and I want to start working immediately after college while pursuing a masters in whatever I end up choosing so I think I need to talk to my adviser/ other international relation grads and see what’s it like as a IR major, specifically focusing on East Asian Countries (China, Korea, Japan). Also with the biology major, I know clearly that I do not want to do bench work and pipette all day.
I talked to one scientist at the lab about her majors and whatnot. She’d majored in mathematics during her undergrad and focused on immunology in graduate school (hence why she was in the lab) and at 29 decided to go to medical school. It was refreshing to hear that she would be starting medical school later in life because I felt the same way as I don’t want to start medical school right way after my undergrad. if that is what I end up following. I didn’t want to start medical school too soon and god forbid I hate it and money went down the drain.
I will be talking to my advisor about going that route (not specifically) and we will discuss it after the fall semester along with IR major. Yesh college never looked this complicated in the movies! For now, my goals for the fall is to make it into the scholars program at school and to earn an A in precalculus and biology aka “work hard play hard!”
In disability news: My hamstrings in my legs have gotten tighter due to the cerebral palsy so I’m stretching them from now on till I start school. In spinal fusion news, the bottom of my shoulder blades feels tight and there’s back pain sometimes but other than that, doing pretty well.
Thank you all for reading and I’ll try to blog soon about doctor visits and school!
Hey guys! I hope all of your summers are going good!. So here’s the summer playlist I promised awhile back. I’ll post links to the songs if they seem unfamiliar (trust me they will, I have an interesting taste in music).
1. Hot Summer - F(X)
2. Danger - F(X)
3. Rocksteady - Chaqq
4. The Chaser - Infinite
5. Rewrite - Asian Kung-Fu Generation
6. Kodoku no synthesizer - Base Ball Bear
7. Fiction - B2ST (Beast)
8. Transfer Girl - Base Ball Bear
9. エンドレス - Sakanaction
10. We Can Pretend - Strange Talk
11. Short Hair - Base Ball Bear
12. 난리나 - Block B
13. Yoakemae - Base Ball Bear
14. 記念写真 - FujiFabric
15. Strawberry Shortcake - Fujifabric
16. Crazy For You No Kisetsu - Base Ball Bear
17. Celebrate - Utada Hikaru
18. アドベンチャー- Sakanaction
19. Apple and Cinnamon - Utada Hikaru
20. Ame (B) - Sakanaction
21. モノクロトウキョー - Sakanaction
22. Fight the Blues - Utada Hikaru
23. LOL - Block B
24. Last Dance - Base Ball Bear
25. Merry Christmas Mr. Lawerence - Utada Hikaru
26. Still Getting Younger - Wynter Gordon
27. Climbing Walls - Strange Talk
28. Forever Young - Starboard
29. On and On - Utada Hikaru
30. World Surf Mellow - Starboard
31. Pool - School Food Punishment
32. I Could Say - Lily Allen
33. Sherlock (Clue + Note) - SHINEe
34. Last Dinosaur - The Pillows
35. Girlfriend - Phoenix
36.Chinese - Lily Allen
37. 1901 - Phoenix
38. One Time Too Many - Phoenix
39. Galaxies - Owl City
40. Tune On, Tune In, Surf Out - LAMA
41. Somebody Told Me - The Killers
42. You Can’t Win - Kelly Clarkson
43. Wine Red - The Hush Sound
44. ワンナイト・アルカホリック - Hanumaan
45. Call It What You Want- Foster the People
46. Miss You - Foster the People
47. Blue Cassette - Friendly Fires
48. NU ABO - F(x)
49. Shiny Shiny - DWB feat. Nirgilis
50. Touch Me - Daichi Muira
51. Deer in the Headlights - Owl City
52. Live Those Days Tonight - Friendly Fires
53. HOT MUSIK - Daichi Muira
54. Baby Don’t Cry - Daesung (Big Bang)
55. Yesterday - Kim Kyu Jong
56. Kiss - Dara (2NE1)
57. Heartbeat - 2PM
58. Fushizen Na Girl - Perfume
59. Goodblue - School Food Punishment
60. Super Hero - VIXX
61. Tick Tack (Japanese Version) - U-Kiss
62. Sexy, Free, and Single - Super Junior
63. Do - Boyfriend
64. Electric Shock - F(x)
65. Jet - F(x)
67. Super Girl - Super Junior
68. Spring of Life - Perfume
If the song doesn’t have a link, I either couldn’t find it on youtube or it had a weird version of it. Hope you enjoy and feel free to share your musical taste with me if you have any suggestions!
You remember that question from when you were younger? You would probably wish for invisibility, flight, super strength, telepathy, to be able to breath underwater, etc. etc.
Even now I kind of wonder what would happen if I had that one talent I craved ever since I dived myself into my first Ipod. The talent I’m talking about is to sing and play the guitar.
There’s something memorizing when watching someone singing their heart out. Sweat pouring down their face. Their voice reaching beyond the stage, but the entire globe. Their lyrics branding themselves into my brain till I know every line by heart. The poems they write comes alive off the paper and flies so high and across time itself.
The musician sings for his/her love of music and for their fans. No one can say this is wrong or this sucks. Music is all about feeling. Feeling crumby? Feeling joyous? Write a song and you somehow relate to someone. It’s that powerful. Music has done so much for me over the years and get through all my troubles and blues.
Maybe in the next life I’ll be a vocal guitarist in a cool rock band but for now I’ll stick to singing in the shower!